Hugs

After the completion of the June 2010 session of Freedom Seminars, I arrived home to house guests which had arrived from Florida earlier that day, on of which was my Grandma. She’s getting older and the realization of that has taken hold as I cherish the times we have together, which isn’t very often. Most of my family have always given hugs, but often it’s the “tent hug” or the “granny hug”, when your patted on the back until you want to burp. I welcomed her with a big “Freedom Hug” which I could tell surprised and touched her heart. She didn’t want to let go and neither did I. What a wonderful way to start our visit. I had made a mental list of the things I wanted to do with her during the brief 36 hour stay and we manage to check everything off in rapid succession. As she left, we embraced once more; this time initiated by my Grandma, neither of us ready to say good-bye to the other.

When I was a young teenager, I remember when my Grandpa Hardesty completed the Roots and Wings training. It was unusual to have him here in Missouri; we were often the ones making our annual summer pilgrimage to Oklahoma. I hopped in the car with Dad to take Grandpa to the airport, which was weird anyways, and then Grandpa held on to me the entire time. I can remember thinking, “OK, Grandpa, you’re going to miss your plane if you don’t let go.” I was a willing participant, a little confused, but willing to hold his hand and give him a big Freedom Hug before boarding the plane. I didn’t realize the full significance of that moment in time, but now as a grown woman I will cherish that experience forever.

Giving someone a proper hug is not only a way of greeting or saying good-bye, it’s a way of letting them know that you love and cherish them, that you care deeply about who they are. For some, I believe it can be a way of feeling vulnerable and there fore they are reluctant to share that experience with other. It opens one up to what each has to offer the other in becoming more “in-to-me-I-see” (intimate) with them. It’s amazing how such a seemingly small act can be so powerful and on of the greatest gifts you can ever give another human being.

When was the last time you gave or received a good Freedom Hug? You can take action in creating meaningful relationships with those you care for by sharing this simple yet powerful tool with them. It’s not necessary to explain the reason behind your actions; just let it be and see what happens!

August 2010

Amy Craighead

What Are Freedom Seminars?

Hard to describe in words, Freedom is not a traditional seminar with a podium and tables. It is an experience, really it is an experience that will change your life. During Freedom Seminar I learned tools that I have been able to use from that time forward.

Recently I had the privilege of being a TA with some very seasoned veteran TAs. One of the things Russ Hardesty, the main trainer, said to the TAs was to trust the process, because Freedom Seminar is a process by which transformation occurs, the caterpillar becomes the butterfly. This happens visibly to every person who completes the Roots and Wings seminar. Even the strongest, most confident among the group stands taller, speaks with more confidence and is more determined to make a difference in the world. Some realize for the first time they can make a difference in the world.
What occurred to me on the last day of seminar is that the seminar is not really even about them. As a TA, Russ told us to remember that the seminar is about the trainees. The people who go through the seminar set the tone for what will happen in their lives. While they are there, at the seminar, it is about them. On the last day, the last song reminded me, though, the seminar is not about the 17 who were graduating on that day or the hundreds of others who’ve gone through the seminar over the years. It’s about making the world a better place. It’s about giving back to others so that they have the tools to help change the lives of everyone they meet.

It is a spiritual journey to wholeness. It is about getting rid of the baggage that has held us back. Freedom Seminar is about getting unstuck. But its also about having to tools to get out of the mire before it engulfs completely.
Simply put, Freedom Seminar is about becoming everything you hoped to be and more. It is a spiritual, practical journey that starts the moment you walk through the door of the Roots and Wings seminar and continues for the rest of your life.

June 2010

~Teresa Parker

Wizard of Oz

“You cannot heal or change what you do not acknowledge”

I was channel surfing the other night and there it was, The Wizard of Oz. I decided to watch it. I have vivid memories of seeing it the first time when I was a kid. It was on a Sunday afternoon at a theater in Oklahoma City. It scared me. I’ve seen it several times since then– it was pretty much an annual event with my children. The other night when I watched it, I realized that it is a great metaphor for my personal experience of Freedom Seminars. When I came into the training room, I was like Dorothy – lost, trying to find my way back. The only difference is she knew where “back” was – Kansas. I didn’t even know where I needed to be heading. I just knew I felt lost. I also felt like the Scarecrow – didn’t have a brain. I grew up feeling like I was not very smart and continued to feel that way as an adult. Not only did I feel lost and dumb, I felt dead. Like the Tin Man, I didn’t have a heart. To top it all off, I was missing the Lion-like courage to make the changes necessary to live my life better and more fully. So I was a mess when I walked into the room….lost, dumb, dead, and scared. One of the first tools that hit me was, “You cannot heal or change what you do not acknowledge.” Through the process of the training, though, I began to trust my fellow trainees enough to be open and to look inside. As I acknowledged the state I was in, I began to confront the flying monkeys and evil witches.

I finally realized that the “wizard” was inside of me all along and that I already possessed the intelligence, the courage, and the heart to get back home – a place of peace, love, and personal power. Freedom Seminars truly helped me find my way back. Now, if I stray too far from home - to that place of feeling lost, dumb, dead or scared – I reclaim my contract: I am a free and loving woman. In a flash, I go back to the training room and relive the experiences, the emotions, and the loving and supportive friends who were on their journey with me. Ahh, there’s no place like home – it’s like clicking the ruby slippers together.

June 2010

~ Marsha Medcalf

"I See You"

“I have set all of my judgments of you aside, and am ready to learn what you would like for me to know about you. Please teach me.”

My family and I are movie buffs of a certain kind. We have our favorite movies that we view numerous times…but not just for entertainment. We study movies. We study movies for content, dialogue, ideas. We study actors and characters. It’s just what we do! This last weekend Russ and I watched Avatar for a second or third time. We always let our thoughts mull for a couple of days and then have conversation about our experiences and insights. Avatar is a favorite for several reasons, but what I gleaned from this viewing is a concept that still wows me.

In the movie the natives of Pandora have a greeting for one another that is simple, yet it makes me sit up and pay particular attention each time I hear it. “I see you!” It is used as we might say “Hi There! How are you?” But it is so much more than a greeting. The natives of Pandora have a very unique and particular connection to one
another. They are connected to their world, and all the creatures in it, just as they are connected to one another.

“I see you” is a greeting that gains meaning as you follow this story. In the beginning the main character, Jake Sulley, witnesses the Pandorans using it among themselves. He is curious about it but does not understand the full meaning. As the story continues, this greeting becomes one that lets him know he is included and regarded as important and vital. And in the end it is a greeting that restores him to the Pandorans as a leader and the fulfillment of a long held prophecy (like his contract?).

Every time I watch this movie, I think, we should include this greeting in our Freedom training somewhere! It is so appropriate for the work we do. It is more than saying that I see your outer person, I see your clothes, your hair, your physical body. Its meaning would be something like “I have set all of my judgments of you aside, and am ready to learn what you would like for me to know about you. Please teach me.”

This is in a nutshell, what we teach in Roots and Wings. “I see you” is a greeting of honor, acknowledgement, acceptance, and discovery. It is a very loving greeting. Imagine what it might allow with you in your relationship with your children. Most of us believe that we are the owners of our children and know everything there is to know about them. There is nothing left to discover! What a limiting belief that is…and so hard for those we love the most. This greeting would also unlock a new level of intimacy and connection with a partner
or spouse.

There is so much more to be discovered within these three words. I challenge you to take them inside of you and learn as much as you can from them.
And check out the movie. There are many great lessons within its story line if one chooses to study it.

“I see you”! Love ,
Pat Hardesty

Revolving Doors

Remember those revolving doors at department stores? As a kid from Columbia, MO, I would always hesitate when we’d visit a larger city and have to go through one of those doors especially when there were a lot of people going in and out. When do you step in? When do you step out? Is the door going to smash me into little pieces if I even attempt it? Luckily, there was always my mom or dad nearby to take me by the hand and help me get in the door and then come out into an entirely new location.

I admit there has been times when my life seems to be stuck either outside one of those doors or in one of those doors. Stuck on the outside would be times when I was too timid to even try to attempt doing or being anything other that what I was at the time. It sounded a little like the poor me syndrome. You know how it goes, “Nothing good ever happens to me. I guess I’ll always be poor. I guess I’ll never have a new car. I guess I’ll never have the good job…”

This is usually said while looking from the outside into the bright, shiny department store knowing that the only way in was through that scary revolving door. Afraid of being shredded by the door and mob, you would simply look through the window and cower in fear. It is the fear of getting outside your comfort zone. That fear entraps you in a victim, or even, survivor mentality. You would like to go to the next level, but something holds you back.

I think Elvis might have felt the same way. In the song, “If I Can Dream,” he says, “If I can dream of a warmer sun where hope keeps shining on every man, tell why, oh why, won’t that sun appear?”

Elvis was quite the philosopher because he tells us in the next verse; “We’re lost in a cloud with too much rain.” Standing on the outside of the revolving door is a little like that feeling. You can’t risk stepping inside because your are scared about what might happen to you. You think, "I’m too slow. I’m too young. I’m too old. I don’t know how. I have too many kids. I don’t have any kids." The excuses can take any form. We all know our own.

Then, Elvis also had something to say to the person getting dizzy inside the revolving door, never finding a way out. “We’re trapped in a world that’s troubled with pain.” Man, is that ever true. I’m sure in your life there is pain somewhere. Sometimes circumstances seem like pain and simply overwhelm us.

Elvis knew the answer, although I don’t really think he ever listened to his own songs or he might really still be alive today. He would be 85. (I looked it up as I’m not really a trivia pro). Still in this song he tells us, “But as long as a man has the strength to dream He can redeem his soul and fly.”

The key word here, to me, is “dream.” What do you dream of? What are your excuses for not being able to get there? What is one step you can take to come closer to your dream?

Could it be as simple as thinking of yourself as a victor rather than a victim or survivor? Could it be as simple as knowing you can live in abundance today?
Maybe it’s as easy as seeing that “out there in the dark, there’s a beckoning candle.”

One last thought for those trying to get in the door, there are friends at Freedom Seminar who want to help you step through that door or past the tangled maze of excuses to the point where you can start living your dream today.
If you are tired of either being in a revolving door or standing outside afraid of one, join us for Roots and Wings, Nov. 10 –14!

~ Teresa Parker
I am a Whole, Happy, Healthy
Woman of God.

The Key to Happiness

Any moment is an opportunity for happiness. “Smile, breathe and go slowly” is a formula given by the Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. When one is focused on being, simple activities allow a state of happiness. A walk in nature, sitting near water or in the woods, talking with a good friend, or playing with a child can become the opportunity for happiness.

Often people believe happiness is something that will come later in life. One can easily spend their life waiting for happiness – getting a better job, getting out of debt, retrieving, getting married. When striving for the next thing, happiness is easily forgotten.

Focusing on the future or dwelling in the past – worry, reviewing conversations in one’s mind, thinking about things that aren’t occurring in the present are all sources for stress, depression and other draining emotions. Attending to negativity and criticism is a sure formula for unhappiness. Energy given to the ‘then and there’ robs us of joy and peace.

Interestingly, the small things in life bring happiness. Living in the here and now is being present. Playing with small children is a great opportunity for living in the here and now. Focusing on the positive is a sure means to having happiness.

Happiness occurs when wanting what you have is your focus rather than having what you want. Wanting what you have is a definition of gratitude.

What are some of the small things that allow you to be in the moment?

What do you have already that you could be grateful for?

Let’s hear from you! ~Russ Hardesty